Monday we did great getting up, eating breakfast, getting showered and dressed. Kainoa even got into his car seat without a struggle. We were going to this! **deep sigh**
Then, I walked in the door. No tears, just a knot the size of an orange in the pit of my stomach. Then, I walked in the door to the toddler room. Still, no tears, just a bigger knot and squeezing my baby just a little bit tighter and I swear, he was hugging a bit tighter, too. The teachers were there and pleased to see us. Seven other little people were playing and quite interested in us. They all seemed happy, surely, this would easy. Put him down, get a toy, give a kiss and go on my way. Well...not really.
Ms Christine started filling out paperwork and I was spelling our last name. As I came to the b (a natural pause for me) the tears came...along with a nice little hiccup/sob. The teacher's face fell and asked me quickly if everything was ok. Well, of course everything's ok...I'm just leaving my baby with you and this means so much else is also changing. (read with just a little sarcasm). She was very compassionate and I really just thought the above sentence. She assured me it was totally normal and I could stay as long as I liked.
I was prepared to stay an hour, but it became clear that Kainoa would not explore the wonderful toys and books until I was no longer there. So, after about 30 minutes, Ms Christine offered a toy and I slipped out. I don't know if I've talked much about Kainoa's keen sense of my location at all times, but it was on overdrive. As soon as I opened the door to the room to leave he screamed. Oh my....my heart tore and I couldn't leave. So, I stayed a few more minutes and tried again. This time, he cried, too. But, I went in to talk with the Director about our paperwork and then left. Of course, I was crying while talking with her, too. She was very sweet and assured me that I could stay in the office and watch him, if I wanted. Although I desperately wanted to, I knew that if he saw me, it would make it only worse. So, I left and called 10 minutes later. He was fine and they were playing outside. **another deep sigh**
Ok, we can do this!
Fast forward to today, Thursday. We've had 4 drop offs, 4 pick ups, four lunches, 8 snacks and even 2 naps! He cries a little less each day. The teachers are getting to know him. They let him eat in a high chair and nap in a crib...much easier transition than going straight to the cot and table & chair. My "guilt knot" is still there and will probably take a while to shrink a bit. I really don't want to go into that here and now, I'm sure I'll discuss my thoughts on it at some point, but for now, it's there for better or for worse.
Now, for some fun....
As a little gift to ourselves for surviving Monday, we went out and bought a blow up pool. Yes, it was warm enough here to break out the swim trunks! Here are my Bathing Beauties....